What If We Love Each Other?
By J. Budziszewski

Dear Professor Theophilus:

I have a question that may sound a little bit hypocritical coming from a follower of Jesus, but I wanted to ask someone I could trust, who didn't know me, and who wouldn't release my name. I've really enjoyed the tips and articles here on the Boundless webzine, and my mother listens to Focus on the Family all the time on the radio, so I am really familiar with you guys.

I have been in Christian school for most of my life, I go to a wonderful church, and my family all love and serve the Lord. My girlfriend was responsible for getting me to join my current church; she is truly my gift from God.

This brings me to my point. My girlfriend and I have been together for nearly a year now, and we would get married if not for our remaining years in college. She can envision our future together, as can I, all ordained by God and blessed by our pastor.

Sexual intercourse tends to produce the same powerful feelings of "rightness" whether it's right or not.

 

We recently decided to engage in sexual intercourse. We both had questions about our decision to do this and we both decided to seek advice before deciding to have sex again. We are truly in love, and we connected spiritually before we even decided to have sex. After intercourse, we felt an even closer bond than ever before. Without a doubt, we are mentally, spiritually and emotionally married; our marriage is only missing a ring, a preacher and a church ceremony to make it official.

If we make sure that we use protection, is it really that wrong for us to engage in making love? The Lord frowns on promiscuity, but we are not being promiscuous. The Lord values lifelong commitment and the two of us are as committed as a couple can be. I would like your opinion on this matter as we are both praying and seeking an answer.

 

Read the answer to this letter HERE